#alex: dont fucking kill my dog!!!

[dogmasquerade]

cod: black ops fandom where are my reznov/mason shippers. come on. the guy is literally buried in his mind forever they have so much potential for weird psychosexual shit. woods is fine i guess but reznov is so rrrrrrr

[thatwritterbeach]

So about that alley .9

Jason Todd x ofc Alex

Dc masterlist

Summary: Alex finds out her bf is red hood, after she spills some not so great secrets to the masked man while stitching him up.

Warnings: vaginismus, mentions of puke, angst duh, eating disorder, self harm, Jason 'forces' her to quit her job so he can better help her

A/N: I do not own dc boohoo. none edited this story is running away and i dont kniw what to do with it please send a dog catcher

"Baby, sweets," came his groggy voice from the bed before he registered what she was doing and he was behind her grabbing her hair.

The shame that overtook her when she woke up was enough to have her rushing to the bathroom to empty her stomach. Not only was she a freak for using the blade he'd given her, she was the freak who couldn't get off without her boyfriend putting on a mask. (never mind that she'd never had an hour of stimulation and over twenty minutes of a vibrator on her but in this state she couldn't think)

"Sorry, so not sexy," she said into the bowl. He laughed and handed her a washcloth for her mouth then used the hair tie from the sink to put her hair into the worst bun he'd ever seen. She brushed her teeth and pitched her toothbrush into the trash and turned to him with a light smile. He returned it lifting her up on the sink to wrap his arms around her.

"Feeling better?"

"Much."

"You getting sick or..."

"Would you be mad if I said it was nerves?"

"Nothing you do or say could make me mad. What's got you nervous?" His little head tilt cute enough to kill brain cells.

"You...I feel-I'm sorry, my head's not awake yet. Just awake enough for a panic induced pukey session," she mumbled rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands.

"Pukey?"

"I don't like the word *vomit*," she explained on a whisper. He nodded like it made all the sense in the world and filed that info away for later.

"Well do you want to go home and take a bathey?"

She snorted at his word choice and thunked her head into his chest, his arms coming up to wrap around her tighter.

"Yes I would love a bathey," she said into his bare chest. He gently eased her head up so he could spin around and offer her a piggy back ride.

"I'm too heavy-"

"Bullshit," he growled spinning faster than she could blink and caging her in," you're the most beautiful fucking thing on this planet and I won't let you think anything less if it's the last thing I do," he stated using a touch too much force to hold her jaw and force eye contact. He could feel her jaw tick like she was about to give him an ear full for the man handling but she surprised him by melting into the touch and closing her eyes.

"That was hot," she laughed at herself. His grip slackened and slid to her throat but she shook her head. "Not into that, big boy, sorry." His hand jerked back like she'd burned him and he held her waist instead.

"Sorry-"

"Dude, chill, this is how we learn, by talking. If I do something you don't like, tell me. I'm cool with the jaw, just no throat. Really I meant you getting all fired up about my self-esteem, that was hot."

It didn't take long to pack up and head out, making it back to her apartment. Jason ran her a bath with bubbles and candles and set up a small single step stool for himself to sit on. She eased into the hot water with a one piece swim suit on and he sat on his little stool and opening a book.

(good heavens where should this thing go??)

"You still need to show me your blade," he said with forced ease.

"Jason."

"Yes, love?"

"If I tell you something you have to promise not to beat yourself up over it."

"I promise." With his fingers crossed behind his back

"I've been using the knife you gave me. Not intentionally, it's just such a good knife, and-"

"The pocket knife with the replaceable razor blades?"

"Yes, but I'm careful-"

"Alex, what the fuck! Those are sharp as hell, you could, fucking shit, you could hit bone without much force. Shit babe." The first sentence was nearly yelled but the rest was a forced average tone and she sank into the water on instinct when he stood up and towered over her.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered closing her eyes. He tossed his book aside and scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair multiple times muttering fuck fuck fuck again and again.

"One slip up and-fuck you could..." Her eyes were watering but she wasn't going to let herself cry.

"Jay, I'm sorry, I'll give it back-"

"You're on 24 hour watch. You're quitting your job and we are going to Bludhaven to stay with Dick. He can watch you when I'm out and we'll switch."

"Jason-"

"No, this is not up for debate. I let you go hoping you would come to me, and I know addiction is shit and is hard and I didn't want you to feel forced but dammit I won't fucking lose you over this. When is the lease up on this place?"

"Umm, next month," she whispered.

"Good, don't re-sign. I'll find us a place when you're better. Quit your job, no two weeks, I'll get you a better one."

"Jason Peter Todd, if you think for one damn second-"

"It's my job to take care of you. You are not going to be freeloading, you don't need to make money, I have more than enough and you damn well know it. I won't tell the feminists club." He sat back down and reached to grab both her hands in his.

"You haven't even asked Dick. How will he and Kory feel-"

"They aren't together right now, he'll be stoked to have you, scouts honor," he said using one of his hands to make the star trek 3 finger sign.

"You stole tires? How is that very scouty?"

"I never said boy scouts, baby I was in Gotham scouts, street addition."

"You're lucky I love you cuz your jokes are crap." He was about to say something when is phone rang and 'dickhead' lit up the screen.

"Yello," he said into the phone.

"Jay, any chance Red can stop and help a guy out, got this huge bust?"

"What a coinkydink, I was just about to call you. I'll be right back, babe," he said to her and left the room. She couldn't hear him so the bastard must have gone out to the hallway.

"What's up," Dick asked.

"Alex isn't doing too well. I know you're still pissed about the alley-"

"Dude, so last season, old news."

"Didn't realize I was talking to a chick, could you put my brother back on the phone?"

"So Alex..."

"Anyway, I can't watch her close enough, and she's not being careful when she hurts herself-"

"What the fuck man, you're still letting her do that. Why does she even have anything sharp?"

"I didn't want her to feel forced into anything, she's an adult she would just go buy more. I was hoping the show of trust would help bring her out of her shell and at least tell me after she does it. She's using the knife I gave her, those interchangeable razor blade ones-"

"Shit, the one you cut that guy down to the bone with?"

"Yeah, obviously I gave it to her way before I knew what she was doing."

"So what do you need from me?"

"A spare bedroom, I don't know how long, but I'll help with your bust and-"

"As long as she needs."

"Dick?"

"Yeah, Jaybird?"

"I love you, you're a good big brother, even though you missed my funeral," he added so the words didn't feel as heavy on his tongue.

"Dude, I didn't even know-wait a damn minute what did you just say?"

"Clean your ears old man I ain't sayin' in again."

"Love you too, little bird. Tell Alex I said thanks for teaching you nice words." Jason rolled his eyes and hung up to go check on Alex. She was out of the tub and in one of his t-shirts sitting on the edge of the bed picking at her cuticles.

"Hi."

"Hi, I uh, I figured you'd wanna ya know check my...wounds, so I didn't bother with clothes," she said to the floor.

"I told Dick I loved him and he was a good brother."

"You did," she said with pride, her eyes snapping to his.

"Yeah, he said thanks for teaching me nice words." she nodded with a soft smile but it didn't last long as she laid back on the bed and bunched the shirt up to just under her breasts. No makeup no bandages and her ribs were shredded.

"Oh, baby," he said crossing the room in a few long strides. He put one knee on the bed to lean over her and run his finger over the cuts.

"These almost needed stitches."

"I know," she responded, jaw ticking.

"I love you, love you, love you," he repeated kissing each mark.

9-17-24

[thecoolest69]

♡︎❀About me❀♡︎

Erm my name is Brooklyn I'm 14 and I'm bi (feminine) idfk I'm autistic and just a silly little goofy goober😖

I'm a ambivert so silly ik 😖

I really like music usually am wearing my headphones all the time (not at school or with friends)

Sadly I'm a lonely child and have no siblings well that I have met 🤠

My father left with the milk uwu so preppy 😖 so if I make jokes and you get offended I don't care you can leave I'm not forcing you to read this shit and like fucked up family ig if you dont like it deal with it scroll away♡︎

What I post silly thoughts and fandom shit and just music stuff idfk yet maybe just my thoughts

I like the case study of vanitas it's so silly and sigma I ❤️ vanitas lil bro is so silly

My pronouns are she/her, but i dont mind they/them

Dni if you are queerphobic, racist, abelist, support Israel, Zoophile, misogynist,pedophile,just a bitch if you are kys🥰

I sometimes vent cause I can so yeah I'd you don't like too fucking bad 😜

If you don't like me just don't interact with me I don't need your negativity even if I'm negative (such a hypocrite, ik)💀

Don't try anything with me I'm underage and im 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚 and will fight you😠

I like reading depression like idk if it has angst then it's a good book my opinion (no longer human is good)

I also like reading anything that has like an adventure like that's interesting cause my adhd is bad and I can't focus on boring shit

Oooh I like demon slayer I'm still sad douma had to die he was pookie

I also love Angels of death cause eeeeee it's so sigma

My silly silly friend is @homoashell she is so 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚❀

Another silly friend is @thecoolest68 she is also pookie

@littleratboy is my pookie I love them so much <3

AUGHHDUJSUUS my pookie is

My fav color is 💜 and ❤️

My fav words are ooooh or sigma or homosexual and pookie😩😖

I'm in the Helluva boss fandom same with hazbin hotel (they are pretty good)

Also, I'm obsessed with Bungo stray dogs, my fav fandom (Dazai and chuuya and nikolai are the biggest hotties dazai specifically 😖 Mori from bsd should kill himself💀)

Youtube=Johnnie Gilbert, Jake Webber, Flamingo, BENOFTHEWEEK, Danny Motta, Billyhan_ ,Nick Wilkins, Tarayummy, and Clawed_Beauty101

My fav animal is cats I have one her name is ginger and she's do cute I will post about her a lot cause she's sigma I also have a dog he looks goofy he's a Yorkie/Silky and he's goofy looking I don't like him that much my cats better

Also magic and mystery or Coil (ao3 dont fucking judge its really well written ok)

I also like the class of 09 (Jecka and Emily and Nicole are 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚)

I like the Heathers the musical it's a pretty good musical and honestly was pretty fun to watch (dont say you haven't watched the movie your nit a true fan BITCH you dont know my situation leave me alone)

Erm I like music like MARINA (Marina and the diamonds), Melanie Martinez, GRLwood, Asesha Erotica, TV girl, 6arelyhuman, mother mother, radiohead, Rio Romeo, alex g, insane clown posse, Benson Boone, Ashnikko,Mindless Self Indulgences, Olivia Rodrigo ,Mitski(dont judge thats just me ok you can like what you like my Genre of music is very random also i like more just like too lazy to write all of them😜😜😜)

I like art but I'm not very good at it but I try and that's all that matters ♡︎

I like ice skating it's very fun, and I'm pretty good at it ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

I really like harry potter and the books and movies I hate J.K Rowling she is a terrible person and I don't support her or what she dose

Black butler is also a great fandom I like the angst I know that's bad but OMFG ITS SO GOOD

I like the Heather's it's a good play I watched it on YouTube and it's really sigma

I like the hunger games I haven't read the books but I'm going to ♡︎

A great fandom is the metal family it's on YouTube and glams past and chives past god damnnnnn 😖

Ooooh a great fandom is the case study of vanitas (totally not cause they all fucking hotties)

Probably have more fandoms but I'm not writing them all down will write them down when i remember since i have the memory of an a great grandpa with severe dementia👴🏻💀😜

My anxiety and depression is bad so sometimes I might not post since I physically can do shit or don't know what to write also I do sh but like whatever guys I'm just silly like that I might vent sometimes cause I'm just that silly

I'm very blunt so if you don't like that then whatever your problem but ur missing out 😩💅✨️

That's pretty much it feel free to ask any questions I might answer them ❀

⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

[jude-thedude98]

Sorry

By Mr. PoetAll :: Inspired by - @alex-a-roman

I'm...

Sorry, i was never good enough for your love but only for your fists.

I'm...

Sorry, that when I said "are you good" - you didn't capture my concern; only flung my off like a fly on your wrist.

I'm...

Sorry, that every time I wince is because of the mental abuse of sycophancy.

I'm...

Sorry, that you think to gain control of your life you have to belittle mine as if I'm the student of absency.

I'm...

Sorry, that you were never taught self control - that I had to learn it on my own, too; that together meant control himself so I can control myself.

I'm...

Sorry, that I did not kill you or have a bigger, meaner dog to attack you.

I'm...

Sorry, that every time you call my brain it goes loopdaloop all over again.

I'm...

Sorry, that when you think of me it triggers someone to victimize.

I'm...

Sorry, that I'm not a predator in your eyes.

I'm...

Sorry, that I called rape when you actually fucking raped me.

I'm...

Sorry, that playing was plating but without consent is still and will always be WITHOUT GODDAMN CONSENT.

I'm...

Sorry, that I stuck up for you time after time.

I'm...

Sorry, that you felt the need to delete my texts when you saw your hidden name in rhyme after line.

I'm...

Sorry, that I'm gay.

I'm...

Sorry, that I can't and decide not to EVER A-FUCKIN'GIN pray it away.

I'm...

Sorry, that my underarms are sweating.

I'm...

Sorry, that Mt underarms sweating is the only thing keeping me focused on not crying.

I'm...

Sorry, that I'm crippled, dyslexic, mental cased, legally, blind and arthritic.

I'm...

Sorry, that your sick of it.

I'm...

Sorry, that you think I'm lazy because I'm writing my own books and have dreams and goals and aspirations.

I'm...

Sorry, that this poem is no longer following a rhyming scheme.

I'm...

Sorry, that I don't fit up to your sub par.

I'm...

Sorry, that I wasn't born first or last.

I'm...

Sorry, that I have demons too.

I'm...

Sorry, that now my hack is sweating...

Ew.

I'm...

Sorry, that I jumped back into a rhyme scheme.

I'm...

Sorry, that I don't have kids yet.

I'm...

Sorry, that I need help more than others.

I'm...

Sorry, that even though we're brothers (Big Sean voice) I Don't Give A F*Ck About U.

I'm...

Sorry, that I didn't go to college.

I'm...

Sorry, that I touched you.

I'm...

Sorry, that you touched me too.

I'm...

Sorry that I have to take a shower now because to sweaty pits and a sweaty back are spoils for showers.

I'm...

Sorry, that I'm a shower and not a grower.

I'm...

Sorry, that I blocked you...wait no I'm not.

I'm not sorry.

I'm damn fine wit being me

And if you can't and won't accept these things for who I am...

Then...

🖕🏾

Oh, and I'm also not sorry that I'm black and beautiful and dont have to work because i get a check but work anyways because respecting the pen is just as much as respecting the clerk at the gas station. #pendrop #phonedrop #micdrop

#goddontlikeugly

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

obviously their relationship is super unhealthy considering the whole everything of it. but i imagine them having yet another argument but instead of it turning into sex like it usually does alex actually starts throwing punches. hes furious because ever since he killed that guy tim has refused to talk about why he just STOOD there like that and when alex asks tim mentions that he'd probably be better off dead than whatever the hell hes been doing with alex. and it just sets him off because he KILLED for tim. and he HATED it but he was so scared of seeing tim die he did it anyways. and here tim is treating him like he did it because he wanted to, because he wants tim to hurt and be 'trapped' here with tim. and so they fight and its bad. tim gets the upperhand and drags alex up by the shirt and asks him what the hell he thinks hes doing, and alex pulls his gun and presses it to the side of tims head.

and he tim lets go of alex. and alex looks him in the eyes and hates the way they seem so empty. like he has nothing left. like alex hasnt been there trying to keep him alive, even if it was so HE didnt have to be alone.

and then alex grabs tims hand and forces the gun into it, and points it directly at his own head.

he could just kill him then. since hed rather die than be around him. since a good fuck is all hes useful for. since tim thinks hes a monster. go ahead. put him down like the rabid dog he is. (ignore the tears. alex is heartless. alex doesnt feel guilt about what he did to that man or his friends or the way he argues with tim but keeps him close anyways.)

kill him now, and next time alex wont be there to save him. but dont ask him to kill tim because he cant stand the thought of losing the last person he has left. even if that person despises him.

and of course tim cant do it. and neither can alex. they are all they have left. and alex will fight to keep tim alive as long as possible, even if tim lets himself be put in danger. but tim wont make the mistake of assuming alex feels nothing again. because hes always going to think about the moment after he pulled the gun away and set it on the table. the moment alex falls forward into his arms, the way alex wheezes in pain as his bruised rib collides with tims chest. the way he shakes and shivers as he weeps silently, refusing to make a sound.

hey these boys are fucked up i think

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. anon i am reading this so hard. your writing just explodes my brain. tysm.

I think after that, Tim is having a hard time talking to him for a different reason now. He keeps looking at Alex, thinking about that fight, thinking about the moments where he was holding that gun to Alex's temple. Seconds that felt like centuries. Tim has hurt people, has hurt Alex. Had hurt Alex mere minutes before that moment. It all feels off kilter now, though. He had held onto that fixed image of Alex, heartless and aggressive and remorseless over everything he had done. Stuck to Tim out of obligation, but just as quick to cross him too. It's weird now. Tim looks at him and sees tears streaming down his face, sees him trembling as Tim rails him into the mattress, sees him furious on Tim's own behalf. And now that he's seen it once, he sees it more. Nearly every day, that mask of stoic indifference cracks away more and more, until Tim isn't sure how he ever believed the Alex's 'heartless' act. Alex wears his heart on his fucking sleeve, is almost uncomfortably expressive with how many emotions are just out there on his face.

And so Tim isn't sure what to do then, when they're about a mile deep in the woods because of some stupid delusion Alex had about needing to find something in here, and that something ending up being another trap set up by the operator. A trap that has Alex beaten bloody with a gun to his head, a gun that Tim isn't holding. A gun being held and aimed by someone who really really does want Alex dead. And Tim has the weapon this time. He tells himself afterward that he did hesitate. That it wasn't instinct. That he wasn't seeing red, fueled by blind rage as he brought this guy down, taking him out with his fists alone. He tells himself he hadn't felt his heart in his throat as he got Alex to his feet, calling him stupid an idiot reckless and what the hell was he thinking and Jesus Christ you could have died, what the fuck is wrong with you?? Tim drives them back to the hotel with white knuckles. Feels sick later as he disinfects the cuts on Alex's face, bitterly thinks this guy should have stuck to one or the other, fists or the pistol, because both was certainly overkill.

did not mean to write so much whoops fdghdkgf you unleashed a monster LMFAO

[lemonsbakery]

Hey uhm what are your ocs

cracking my knuckles.

CR OCS :333

Strawberry cat cookie/CC (blunt little girl with a terrible memory. needs therapy so badly)

Chocolate cat cookie/010 (mentally ill in so many ways . in a me way but I'm not like so scary)

Vanilla cat cookie (I HATE HER EVIL CAT GHOST LADY)

Cherry cat cookie (the mom of the cat triplets. People keep victimizing her even though she was also apart of the problem)

'Flour' cookie (cocaine. Father of the cat triplets. I hate him)

Dog treat cookie (SILLY SKATER LESBIAN GIRL underaged smoker and also has a crush on strawberry cat cookie in the future but cc is really fucking stupid and cant pick up on dog treat cookies obvious pickup lines)

Linzer cookie (dead military ghost lady, also known as silly lesbian emo girl)

Banana candy cookie (therapist and scientist, also known as lesbian scene girl)

Banana split cookie (eldest child of banana candy and linzer, really liked lofi, died at like um 11 or something)

Berry jam cookie (youngest child of banana candy and linzer, really liked vocaloid, died at like 9 years old)

Spritz cookie (SILLY SO SILLY SO SO SO SO SO SILLY AND COOL AND people keep watering magic down to innocent and sweet magic so much more, candy is silly but not stupid. shes a little stupid but not fucking DUMB) (also she/magic/candy pronouns for spritz thankies)

PISS COOKIE. (joke oc)

Flan cookie (HAUGHTY LOCKSMITH WHO has a little kid issue and also is sort of a roguefort fangirl but he will never admit it to anybody else)

Girl scout cookie (bothers haughty locksmith and keeps getting stuck in unconventional places, for example, inside of traffic cone and a vending machine. Also she knows Everyones home address.)

Pink grass cookie (BASED ON THOSE LIKE. UM. THOSE EGGS THAT HAD THE FLAVORED GRASS IN IT. Shes so mentally ill and um she kind of has some Serious issues with. everything oh god save her shes so fucked the religious trauma is insane)

Moose tracks cookie (47 year old single train conductor that's rivals with two other train stations but also thinks its all fun and games and loves her rivals and also will call you sweetheart, honey, and dearheart)

Microplastic cookie (wip. I am not elaborating.)

OTHER OCS :33

Mio Mirai (Girlboss v-tuber who will manipulate you and act cute while doing it)

Junichi Mirai (Brother of girlboss v-tuber. Makes really good eggs. My friends keep calling him a whore)

Grace Happyfield (Genius fucking 12 year old with cat ears and is also being raised by two maniacs that love her so much and she loves them both too. One is her mom and the other is this girl owned by my friend who taught her how to properly kill men and get away with it by being a cutie pie xx Oh and her moms a lesbian)

Alice Happyfield (GRACIES MOM!! She had her daughter kill her husband and experimented on his body. Sold the leftovers)

Harmony (I dont have a last name for her. shes 12 and had a crush on her friend who was a girl but uhoh her friend who was agirl got assassinated for being openly pansexual!!! uhoh!! shes also friends with Gracie heheohoho)

Egret Flowers (Roblox oc, really silly child that has underlying attachment and self image issues. Also she doesn't have a face)

Lilith (TMC oc, basically shes like Gabriel but instead she targets men specifically by gaining their trust and crushing them)

Alexander Weeks (FNAF oc, he's so transgender and really wants his mom dead . Btw keep in mind that he's a fnaf oc and a minor that's transgender in the 1980s)

Alex (same guy as above but make him an edgy robot that really likes cats)

Zombie cat (Read the name)

Sorrel (Epithet erased oc!! Her epithet is creativity, she basically turns fiction into reality at the expense of her own or others energy. She has no idea how to properly work it shes like 11 OH AND SHE HAS A MOTHER FIGURE THAT ALSO HAS AN EPITHET THATS MUSHROOM THEMED and and also sorrel likes baking)

Cloth (An alien that crash landed on earth. He is completely convinced that he's a human)

Ecole (An alien that crash landed on earth with cloth. She is cloths sister. shes is a famous dancer, and is on every magazine from her home planet. She wants to smack some sense into her brother)

Sew (ANOTHER ALIEN that crash landed on earth. She doesn't think she's a human or an alien, he is just himself. They also really like surfing and skating)

Doll (An old porcelain doll that was abandoned in a garden. It now tends to the plants itself since nobody else will)

MY PErSONA!! (I'm counting this as an oc because my persona has lore

theres more, but ill spare you LMSFAO

[breezybanner]

inktober day 3: bait

[binch-i-might-be]

RAY i just started to re-read thin ice and i have had a Thought. so every time i re-read thin ice, i imagine an au where alex and john get caught BEFORE john and gwash get closer (when gwash is in his "my son being depressed beyond repair is better than having him dead" phase) and john gets killed :( and alex runs away bc he's fucking SAD and never talks/talks to his dad ever again.

anyway. that but reincarnation au.

(im so sorry pls dont hateme im sorryimsorryimsorryimsorry)

first of all reading "every time I reread thin ice" cured 40% of my mental illnesses. also OBSESSED with how you phrased that thing about gwash. you're right of course the man was really just in his "shattering my son's will to live is still better than having him die" era. iconic of him!

okay let's unpack this

Why

would you imagine that tho <3

oh my god. imagine waking up one random tuesday and suddenly remembering that your fucking DAD took your first and only boyfriend out behind the house and shot him like a dog for daring to date you. what the FUCK do you do!

[inatyzzy]

im posting my mh headcanons here finally ❤️‍🔥

Tim

- crush on jay and brian

- likes flannel almost as much as a stereotypical lesbian

- still smokes, hates it, trying to drop it by running his hand through his hair everytime he feels the need to smoke

- mid 20s

- epilepsy god (not photosensitive- mostly absent seizures- please be patient with him)

- is ticklish, but will beat your ass if you try to tickle him

- yes he owns pink rollerblades. yes he knows how to use them. yes you should be afraid

- gay lord

- literally the worst memory

- loves strawberry smoothies and milk

- bitter > sugary things

- doesnt drink caffeine very often

- anxious 24/7, 7 days a week, 365 days a year

- "minecraft <3"

- limps because his fucked up leg never healed properly thanks to someone whose name starts with 'mask' and ends in 'y'

- "if you dont love yourself, ill love you myself"

- changes his minecraft skin every 2 seconds

Masky

- king of amnesia

- horrible horrible memory

- if he was a pokemon, the only move hed know would be headbutt

- is also ticklish, but will probably kill you if you try

- hates everyone (including himself) except for brian and hoodie

- would probably adore cat memes

- loves to be recorded/photographed

- drama queen

- likes rough rocks over smooth rocks

Brian

- crush on tim

- a bit younger than tim (earlier 20s)

- college dropout

- questioning his sexuality every time tim enters the room

- is tims emotional support animal

- laptop is decked in stickers

- loves geology and paleontology

- "i lack toes in toddler ants" he says before finishing up his chocolate ice cream

- extrovert

- still uses emoticons instead of of emojis

- "dont fucking cuss on my minecraft server, TIM"

Hoodie

- is maskys emotional support animal

- "where are you :("

- loves sweets

- loves bugs and nature

- *someone calls his furby scary* "do not talk to me or my son ever again"

- "is it hot in here or is it just me/you haha anyways"

- key lime pie is his life

Jay

- himbo but we still love him

- major crush on tim

- interested in so many things!!! has zero idea what he wants to do!!!

- graduated college a bit later than most

- oldest of the four (late 20𝕤)

- bisexual demon

- possibly an undiagnosed neurodivergent??

- enamel pins on a corkboard

- "haha why am i coughing blood?"

- *looks up symptoms* *cries because it says he has liver cancer* *has a cold*

- lives and breathes coffee/caffeine

- animal crossing: new horizons is his comfort game

Alex

- fuck you alex

- couldnt make a good film if he tried

- what is medication??? doctor??? huh??? therapy who???

- "im still alive, i dont have to go to a doctor" *throws up a kidney* "its fine. i got two for a reason"

- mid 20𝕤

- wanted to be an actor but became more interested in directing, so he switched his major

- definitely undiagnosed neurodivergent

- actually likes to draw? minored in graphic design for a bit

- will beat your ass in a dance competition

- very competetive even before the operator shit

- *downs a slurpee* *screams at his brain freeze* *never goes to 7/11 again*

- pissbaby

- actually used to like dogs???

[incorrectdmp]

DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 9 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

okay so like. i’m GENUINELY sorry that i haven’t been updating this blog a lot outside of ooc spoilers. genuinely my sense of time rn is so messed up that i think i’m updating it semi-frequently then realize i only did one round of quotes before a new episode drops lol. didn’t even do anything for last episode my sense of time is just utterly fucked. so sorry hahaha i can’t promise i’ll try to remember things but. i still love this blog i’m just drifting outside of space and time atm

spoilers ahead as normal but honestly this episode was so chill and vibin you could PROBABLY read this update without watching and wouldn’t be majorly spoiled for much. ngl this is one of my fav ooc spoilers because not much super intense happened so i was able to capture most of the shenanigans through memes

-charlie, probably (made by pip for space game. Saved it in advance knowing it was spoilers for this episode lol)

I’m pretty sure tasting the colour pink is just peptol bismol

Charlie has reached a new low 2 episodes after the pizza image, somehow

“Despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage” -thorin

Alex’s nickname on the fanserver sure is real awkward now

Charlie is a weeb. next up, the sky is blue

I mean. If YOU gained god powers don’t tell me you WOULDN’T watch every anime in existence

The biggest tonal dissonance between the art and the music i’ve ever seen

-art by cam

Cant believe zephi is cg’s friend from work

NO TEARS. ONLY YOGA

My therapist: calm voice CG isn’t real he can’t hurt you. Calm voice CG:

Even the void is not immune to capitalism

COMPETITIVE YOGA

GAY PANIC TIME, THE FRIEND FROM WORK HAS ARRIVED

Vinny is phoenix wright 

Junior is denied playing with dogs by virtue of not being in the show. Shame.

Thorin being left alone with zephi, this could only end well. Just look how minerva ended up!

Vinny straight up admits he’s willing to kill a dog

“Ezra, yay or nay about val’s area” 

Miss Charlie steal yo girl

“I fucked your girl shitlips” -charlie, probably

Maybe ONE day the space jam scenario will see the light of day

Welcome to FUCK IT

The local mall cryptid returns at last

Two legends make a triumphant return: junior no last name and the gazebo

Junior nolastname can legally swear

Chuck. 

How dare you make me sad over one piece jokes

Just Starbucks

After months of CG and grace being the best goddamn dynamic in the show despite it being ENTIRELY noncanon they GET TO FUCKING INTERACT IN THE SHOW

Alex’s hyena laugh my beloved

Paul blart flesh mall

Do not investigate the meat

Yugo wasn’t dead, he was just put in gay baby jail for a nap

-cam

ALEX BE DROPPIN HOT BARS THO

Tommathan 

Hailey gets struck by the apollo ball

Yknow. A proposal. As a friend. She put a ring on it. As a friend. 

Tommy and angalena h*ld h*nds

Sometimes ur just so depressed you dont realize ur girlfriend proposed to you in a romantic way

Perhaps, just once, the girls will not be fighting

TACTICAL STEALTH EZRA

“It’s like i’m a WEBSERIES CHARACTER” -hailey looks directly at the camera

DAD TIME

Dads havin a good dad talk. I’m just vibin to this music

“The surrealism of it made me nearly scream”

Daily reminder that percy blackwood punched a kid at sunday school

Things gettin spicy in this mattress store ;)

Val averts thine eyes, at the disappointment of the fans

TOES TIME

Kingdom hearts called, it wants its belts back

Dmp would be instantly solved if junior hadnt been demoted to mall cryptid. Bitch been on screen for like 5 minutes and he’s goin full cinemasins on CG’s ass

Jesus canon to dmp

Junior decided to test god, he fucks around and finds out

CG throwing a temper tantrum and ripping apart his dolls like an angy 5 year old

(bitch), CG edition

THAT’S IT YOU’RE GOING TO SPENCERS

Eternal gazebo time

HOLY SHIT???? People go to malls to SHOP???

oh wow! [eldritch screeching] my favourite pokemon!!!

HAIR SWOOSH GANG

Oh noooooooo my two favs are talking whatever will i dooooooooooo

Yall are really just gonna shove doc’s corpse into a pretzel box huh

Charlie just progresses more and more into being comically small and sad

Rip the mall announcer, lost to the parking lot. We barely knew you

Charlie is a basic bitch, we been knew

Yeahhhh no cg sure as hell aint human. No human being would reasonably wear THAT

[dangerous-disposition]

On Tragedy vs. Bad Endings

[Image ID: user @frostyfrogz​ replied to your post “my mag171 #thots: I fully agree with. I love jonmartin I want nothing but the best for them. I know my answer today was an obvious twisting of dialogue but its just frustrating sometimes because it seems like people dont understand some sort of tragedy will indeed happen. I have never and will never suggest that something will happen to Jon and Martin’s relationship I’ve just been saying the shows not going to end well no matter what.]

So I have a lot of thoughts about this very subject, and too much for the replies on my post, so allow me to try to articulate what I mean, and what a lot of us mean when we say “it does not make sense for either Jon or Martin to turn evil in the end,” even in a show that has been advertised from day one as a tragedy.

First of all, no one thinks this is going to end happy. The few who do are usually unaware that this show is billed as a tragedy, and are quick to be corrected. I didn’t know it was a tragedy until I was on season 3 and someone told me. It’s overall just best to assume that the OP knows it’s not going to be a happy ending, because “reminding” people or “explaining” to people that the ending is going to be sad is a fast way from people to get annoyed and defensive.

Anyway! It appears, above all, that people have either fundamentally different ideas of what a tragedy is or accomplishes, or that people have a fundamentally flawed understanding of tragedy and it’s place as a narrative device/theme.

My thoughts are that tragedies hurt, and tragedies can be devastating, but they have to have a message and they should not be cruel to the audience.

A cruel ending would involve leading the audience to believe one thing for the entire book, show, movie, podcast, what have you, just to rip it away at the last minute like a big “fuck you” to the audience. Those sorts of endings are inherently mocking of the audience, and ultimately disrespectful. The only people in the audience that “benefit” from this sort of writing are the cynics who spent the entire show talking down to everyone for seeing the silver lining in the impending tragedy, even if, up until the finale, the silver lining was always part of the narrative. Like it took actual twisting and outright ignoring of the narrative as it’s written to be cynical and sceptical all the way until the end.

That is, plain and simple, bad writing. Jonny Sims is not a bad writer.

Now tragedies often have “happy endings,” they just also have an element of sadness colouring that ending. A good, tragic ending should, in my opinion, feel bittersweet. We should see it coming, we should know it will hurt, but it should be for the greater good and should further the narrative that has been told from the beginning.

I said a few weeks ago that a tragic ending without a silver lining is just torture porn, and I stand by it.

Now, if Jon or Martin are revealed to be Actually Evil in the end, where is the silver lining in that? What narrative has even possibly hinted at this outcome, without putting on cynic glasses?

Every single plot point and plot “twist” in TMA has been clearly detailed, never relegated to pure subtext that you would have to comb through a single interraction and analyzing the tone in which it was said (which could easily be actor shortcomings or error). They have always been obvious, at least in hindsight. This is why, for a while, I subscribed to the Web!Martin theory, but due to recent episodes I’m more inclined to believe those “obvious things” were red herrings.

Throughout The Magnus Archives, the common theme in every. Single. Season finale is that “we are stronger together.” What do I mean by that? Well, here’s the general idea:

Season 1: The one time someone gets separated by the group for any significant length of time, like I mean the main group, she gets killed by the NotThem and replaced.

Season 2: Jon is alone, due to his intense paranoia and his reluctance to reach out for help. This leads to a disastrous series of events that leaves him a suspect of murder, and his friends even more doubtful of his character.

Season 3: In the episode just before they deal with the Unknowing, Jon literally says that isolation was his downfall, and he was going to work on trusting his friends more. When they got separated during the Unknowing, things went to shit. When they found each other again, they were able to rally and they “succeeded.” Conversely, they are also teamed up with Melanie and Martin who hung back to bring down Elias. They were successful, working as teams on separate objectives, etc.

Season 4: This is, by far, their most “successful” feats while simultaneously their least. The whole season was again showing the downfalls of isolation. In the season finale, Jon has Basira and Daisy’s help, and while bolstering himself with their strength, and the strength in his conviction to save Martin to be with Martin, Jon was successful in stopping Peter Lukas and saving Martin. Conversely, Martin and Jon’s isolation in Scotland could be, theoretically, implicated in how Jonah Magnus was able to succeed in the end like that.

Now evidence of this same train of thought in season 5? Jon literally says it: Gertrude would not have done well in this post-apocalyptic world, because she had no friendships, no anchors, no reason to stay human. And then Jon says “you are my reason” to Martin.

It is in the text of the story that the only way to succeed, or win, or survive, is through trust, friendship, and love. One of the main factors in so many of the statements, on why the statement givers succumbed to the fear in their story, for even a moment, had to do with very little personal ties to anyone else. Many of the statements feature isolation and, as Jon put it, “lack of corroboration.” On the flipside, many of the statements that ended with the statement giver escaping successfully, and surviving long enough to be reached out to for follow-up questions, involved them having close personal ties to someone else that kept them safe, somehow. Like the girl from Italy; remembering her mom saved her from the Lonely. Or, more ridiculously, the guy and his dog that escaped the spiral because he was so distracted by his dog and had to be home for dinner. In MAG170, it was Martin’s love for Jon, and his trust in the love from Jon and his friends, that saved him from the Lonely again. Jon’s incredible amount of love, and respect, and trust in his friends is what’s kept him from becoming another Jared Hopworth or Jude Perry. In MAG155, Cost of Living, he expresses open disgust in how that particular avatar of The End justified her actions, killing and killing and killing again because she viewed herself as more worthy of life than that person. In that same episode, he talks of not blinding himself because he hopes to use his powers to protect his friends, that without them they’re too vulnerable. Honestly, this is the same reason Peter Lukas is unsuccessful, because Martin only helped him at all to protect his friends. The fact that he didn’t see his failure coming was hilarious.

Gerry said in Family Business that there is no “entities of love”, and that might be true, but love and trust is literally what saves you from fear. How many of us deal with things that are scary in our lives, if only because we have some level of trust in the people or things around us. How many of us have been brought out of a panic attack by someone we love and trust?

So all of this has been presented to us, over and over and over again, which is what I, and others, mean when we say “it does not make sense for one of them to be evil.” That’s what we mean when we say “it would be Bad Writing to make one of them evil in the end.” The entire show has driven home the message that we need love, we need personal connections to survive fear. To rip that away from the main characters at the last minute and call it “tragedy” would be a spit in the face of every single listener who took the story at face value, without picking it apart and reading lines out of context. And Jonny Sims and Alex J. Newall have both said they hate lazy writing.

Now, none of the JonMartin fans I follow are deluding themselves to think this show will have a happy ending outside of very self-indulgent fix-it au fanfics.

The way I see this going down is that Jon and Martin will figure out how to put the world back to the way it was, but Jon will not be able to be part of the new world with Martin. That’s the tragedy; that the world gets saved, and Jon helps save it, but he doesn’t get to benefit from his efforts in any way. The tragedy is Jon loves Martin so much, and they deserve their happy ending, but they don’t get it. But, they still saved the world so others can have their happy endings.

Idk about you, but between the “Jon turns evil in the end” and “Jon stays good and sacrifices himself to save the world” endings, only one of them has me in tears right now as I type this out, and it’s not the former.

I’m not against sad endings,I’m against bad endings that punish the audience for having even a bittersweet hope. I’m against sad endings that are just sad for the sake of being sad, with zero pay-off or reason to happen, especially when those endings throw out 5 years of hard work.

And hey, I might just be forced to eat my words in the end, but not before I fly all the way to England and make Jonny Sims eat a knuckle sandwich.

This was a lot longer than I meant for it to be, but I just have a lot of feelings.

[ask-the-brianthomas]

Hey Brian, *huff* the whole thing about saying you were gonna 'wrap up lose ends' because you wanted all the shit with the operatior gone, *aggressive sigh* kinda dumb. Ya' see you're doing exactly what Alex did; assuming the only way to get rid of the operator is to kill everyone. But think about it this way Tim has been living his whole life dealing with this bitch but it wasn't till Alex found out about it that everything went to shit because Tim had learned from a young age not to listen or bother with the operator, he's taken meds for it, he lied to protect himself and you, he never meant for this to happen; he cared about you guys, but yet you still act like he never did shit for you and that he's the enemy, when you guys both just wanted to live a normal life in the end.

You're your own reason for being miserable and so many other people suffered because you and Alex didn't think about protecting your friends, the people you cared for, you were violent and hurt people. You lied about who you were and hurt people, for what? to protect them? thats not how that works, babe. Try growing up instead of blaming everyone else for what you contributed to, you made it worse for Tim and everyone else.

Full offense, your an idiot, if you still believe that your doing the right thing.

-Enby with an attitude and more problems then missing assignments

And what makes you think I want to or even could live a normal life after this?

What makes you think Im miserable?

I’m doing great. If anyone is coming out of this situation on top, it’s me. I dont worry about SHIT anymore.

Yknow why?

I dont have anything else to loose.

As far as my family and friends know- Brian Thomas died in 2006. He went missing and no search parties turned up a body.

Now. If Tim knows so well how to deal with this thing, why didn’t he tell us what was going on in the beginning? Why didn’t he get concerned when Alex started showing signs? Why didn’t he step in and help when he saw it was spreading? Why didn’t he even TRY to stop this?

If Tim wants to try and defend himself, let him- But I want to know the answers to THOSE questions first.

I figured if anyone would think it was weird that their friend disappeared out of nowhere when dead dogs were showing up on lawns- It’d be the motherfucker who lived with this thing his whole life. But no. Guy went radio silent and moved away.

Do you know how isolating that is? Do you know what it does to someone to realize that they dont have anything or anyone looking out for them? For almost a decade, watching people you thought cared, go about life pretending you never existed?

For the past 8 years I’ve had NO ONE but myself. No little fun internet community like Jay, No doctors like Tim, no S/O or weird demon alien thing like Alex.

Do you think they’d have been better off by me not doing anything? Think about all the fucking INFORMATION I dropped to Tim and Jay. If it weren’t for me, they never would have worked together. They never would have found Alex. They never would have gotten important clues and materials they needed. They still screwed it up because they all lied and cheated on eachother at every turn.

So frankly? Im not trying to protect anyone in this little group. They’re all shitbags. All Im trying to do is end this once and for all.

How about you grow up, and realize everyone is at fault here?

Fuck off. Take a walk in my shoes and see if you come out any better.

[space-knight-dummy]

ok fine i already like these stupid himbos

also lowkey if the die from eating street dogs i will fing cackle

oh my god they do dont they

holy shit

not shada saying they haven’t killed us yet lolollll

ok lowkey these teens actually look like teens kinda impressed

love flynn great energy. her style and vibe is on point and i already spy rainbows

carrie has bitch (to hopefully icon) energy

a stanning for julies art kid Vibbez

also prefoming piano even simply sucks

carrie stfu

love the rainbow on pretty boy too

ok so her dad is the one that didn’t die tm right? i mean right?? like its obvious right?

julie has great vibezz ☺️

also why the fuck sell the house its so f ing cute

also i accept this isn’t gonna realistically be a plot but can you imagine if the dad somehow orchestrated their death to get all the fame himself i love a good dilemma of its my dad but he did Really bad shit

the lepord print slippers we be twinnin babe

ooh im so ready for ghost shit!

lol the screaming shit was funny

OK THE EXTRA SCREAMING SHIT IS EVEN FUNNIER

ok bitch meee

also her room has immaculate vibes

ok nice cute dad shit

but also yeah f that three doods show up outa nowhere im not dropping it

the cross is funny af

especially cause the seashells

shada said witch? yea witch

love blondie bein like im soft tm

tell ur friends lol

shada we’re cute?

sunset swevre SUNSET CURVE

weird dark room where alex cried lolloolol

I HAVE BEEN CRYING FOR TWENTY FIVE YEARS

little brother has great energy

ba da

shada is such a cutie i stan

little brother has great energy x2

the bros walking in like whas up and julie like yo f off

OPE aunt droppin tea

x3 a stanning

o m g these dipshits i stan

they said yayayay music tm

shadas lil wave

he likes our song he doesn’t count hes a dad ffdgffffggvdggc

shada is a bean😊😊

ok i’ll admit luke is kinda cute

and they all have himbo energy

dey cuute

reggie said i like a nice bath😊

WHO THE FUCK WAS DAT

another ghost?? oldie if so

ok julies style is really on point i must say

OMG JULIE TALENTED SHE LIKE REALLY WOW OOH IM EXCITED

OMG AND THE SUNRISE BITCHHH

ok so is it her moms song? Or is it Her song😏😏

ok bitch why didn’t anyone make me watch this sooner

awww it was her moms

ok bitch i’ll shut up for now but im hella excited

bonus: oh no flynn bb

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[stardewitagain]

It is time!!!

I’ve finally emptied out the inbox! And because it’s around the time for religious excuses to miss work and school winter celebrations, I’ve made y’all a gift of my own! I have a list of weird things I’ve said/heard over the years and thought “hey wouldn’t it be funny if I did a ‘stardew characters as these’ thing?” So here it is! ALL stardew characters as weird things I’ve heard! Happy holidays, kiddos!

(Note: all characters are sorted by alphabet)

Abigail: my dad slept through it all cuz he’s a bitch

Alex: I hit myself in the face with a dog earlier. It wasn't my dog.

Bouncer: He’s six years old he’s lived his life

Caroline: Do you want to shit fucking tide pods?

Clint: He says “happy birthday! Here’s your gift!” And hands me his half eaten poptart

Dwarf: ...and then just beats him with a trash can

Demetrius: Do your nipples need glasses too?

Elliott: If there’s a wasp you’ll see me do the most beautiful rain dance you’ve ever seen to get away from it

Elliott’s crab: Bandit One-Nipple

Emily: Ooh who she? She purty! Oh wait that’s me- (bonus: ...and it ended with her wearing 20 shirts, 7 pairs of skinny jeans, and 5 potatoes.)

Evelyn: My dog smells like concentrated grandma

Farmer: I am only emotionally prepared to give you a pineapple

George: Oh Jesus I forgot about the sausages (bonus: oh great, I got special arthritis!)

Gil: It’s hard to work with hairy metal

Governor: Stard

Grandpa: I thought you said “I have the coolest drugs in the world” and I was like “yes you do, Alec”

Gunther: I didn’t forget horses, they are just pants

Gus: i don’t even know where north dakota is, is it the beans?

Haley: Would I give you cooties for being a lesbian?

Harvey: ^ idk, it might cancel out because we’re both gay

Henchman: I'll throw a pineapple so quick you'll think you've been shot

Jas: Mom, will you hand me a chicken tender by putting it between my toes?

Jodi: I like how you just came in here and looked us in the eyes like you didn’t just spray half a can of whipped cream into a taco shell (bonus: YOU DONT PUT SODA IN A BURRITO)

Kent: I’d like to think that was the moment when [Jodi]’s mom looked at me and said “I hope that guy dates my daughter someday. That guy who’s wearing 100 shirts and eating yogurt.”

Krobus: Dinner time does not account for cannibalism, please don’t kill each other

Leah: I’m a hipster today, would you like to ask about my vegan Prius

Lewis: Diet Coke tastes like bandaids and mashed potatoes

Linus: Do not look at me or I will die

Marlon: These are our TVs and our tater tots and they’re not having either one

Marnie: We named one of our dodos “Emergency Chicken Thighs” and he’s stuck floating in mid air and we don’t know how to get him down

Maru: (trying to remember the word for therapist) “hang on...it’s not a booty call...”

Morris: That’s what rich people smell like: pickles and salt (bonus: “what’s this smell?” “The greed of the rich.”)

Mr. Qi: it’s rock o’clock

Pam: Yes but I only have no hands

Penny: Do not make me turn this library around

Pierre: There’s not enough butter on the rolls until your house is on fire

Robin: put the feet in the trash

Sam: “We need a garbage hole...what else would you call it?” “...a trash can?” “...I forgot that’s a word” (bonus: you wrote a bible! For the garbage hole!)

Sandy: “That’s what they call me in the club” “Large patch of sand?”

Sebastian: God nerfed me by making me queer (bonus: everyone knows motorcycles are a gateway to gay)

Shane: It’s like riding a bike: you try it once, crash into a tree, and never do it again

Traveling Cart Merchant: The best I can get is barbecue toothpaste

Vincent: It's got hooves. But it's a cat. But it's a dog. But it's on fire. And it's got horns. (Bonus: Be prepared for an Oreo to fall out of your bed)

Willy: You might like getting choked but turtles don’t so keep your FUCKIN plastic out of the ocean

Witch: I’m gonna steal Jesus cheese

Wizard: I’m minding my own business, you should try it (bonus: The lgbt community came from a rainbow bird the size of a giraffe)

Thanks and credit to @just-yelling-dark-vengeance and @kennysbog for most of the things on this list!

[justinstolemybike]

sigh. season 3. here we are. 

i watched the first five episodes and... i felt so uncomfortable. it was bad. not all bad but... pretty bad. so bad, that it wasn’t enjoyable for me and i didn’t care to watch it all the way through, so i read other spoilers and i am not sure if i will watch the final season. but with it being said that i did not watch the whole thing, this can’t be a full review. so, here comes my first glance. spoilers obviously. 

instead of weaknesses and highlights, lets just say likes and dislikes. likes first.

LIKES

- tyler’s storyline. last season, i was skeptical of how they would handle his rape and emotions about it, but i am relieved they gave his character proper care and devin druid did a magnificent job. my only gripe is that i wish they had him do something other than boxing to channel his anger. like, i understand why he would be learning self defense but i would like to see him do something less violent?? 

- jessica’s reclaiming of her body. at first the whole intro to the sex toys was weird but it actually was really touching (no pun intended) to see jessica begin to love her body and love sex again after what she’s been through. also, female masturbation is so underrated. nice to see it encouraged. know your bodies, ladies. 

- the classic jensen tour. i’m surprised they still allow him to do the tours. like, none of the exchange students from the last time reported him? oh.

- chloe and the abortion. as a character, i don’t care for chloe, i’m sorry. she’s not a character to me, just a plot device. also, she gets no cookies for lying for bryce in the trials (i know abusers and victims have a twisted dynamic and that’s why that happened but nah chief) but i do like how they showed that some pro-life clinics will mask as abortion clinics and manipulate women into coming and trying to get them to keep their babies. totally real and fucked up.

- bryce was held socially accountable (kind of) and i think that makes an interesting point about rape culture. in the real world, jail doesn’t scare men in power because they can buy their way out. they don’t care about women and what they feel, obviously. what’ll really fuck sexual assaulters up is when they have no friends and no one likes them. that’s what they (kind of) showed with bryce this season. and he died which, yes fucking rad awesome wow.

- i know that justin also had a kind of darker storyline (with seth, i think? you can tell me if i’m wrong but don’t be rude) but he was a lot of the comic relief it appears and brandon flynn was great at it.

- alex and jessica broke up. hallelujah.

- justin is a abuse survivor. makes sense with his background. 

- monty died too AND went to jail. cool amazing beautiful.

- tony is still ferociously loyal and apparently there was a scene where clay and tony said they loved each other. rise clony. rise up from the ashes.

- “i write fanfiction” - clay jensen.

DISLIKES

-ani. ani, ani, ani. i can understand why people find her annoying and she was probably the biggest reason i was uncomfortable watching but i didn’t hate her. she just... didn’t make sense. the things she did,the things she said, how she was involved and everyone just takes to her and loves her immediately, no questions asked, no buildup necessary... none of it felt natural or believable. a new girl comes in and it’s just a coincidence that clay gives her a tour and she decides to go up to jessica and says shes amazing and lives in bryce’s house and connects herself to the house of horrors that is the tape club (which was so dumb on the tape club’s part by the way, as she could have snitched and destroyed them all) instead of just finishing out her high school career in peace considering she moves around a lot and she starts college in a year and half and probably won’t talk to any of them after that. no, she’d rather potentially go to jail for a bunch of fucking strangers and criminals and rapists. sure, okay.

and for someone who just fucking got there to basically insert themselves in the traumas of these kids and make things worse in some respects and do some fucking shitty things (not listening or caring when she heard about bryce being a GODDAMN RAPIST, accusing jessica of SLEEPING WITH HER RAPIST, accusing clay of being the killer, yelling about chloe’s pregnancy in the street, the list probably gets longer) and think they’re allowed to pass judgment when THEY JUST FUCKING GOT THERE. LIKE, WHY IS SHE SO INVESTED? WHAT DOG DOES SHE HAVE IN THIS FIGHT? DOESN’T SHE NEED TO STUDY OR SOMETHING? WHY IS THIS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE SHE HAS GOING ON IN HER LIFE?

now, i get what the show was trying to do here. they wanted another, fresh perspective/narrator and i guess a love interest for clay (a wayyyy too convenient love interest, ‘she loves robots and drawing and not minding her business too! swoon!). but they could’ve had both of those things without adding someone to the payroll. honestly, i don’t think they needed a narrator at all but if they really wanted one, they could’ve added an ACTUAL ADULT detective, with no biases so they can be completely reliable to the audience and their investment would be justified. for love interest, yall already know how much i love and miss sheri. she could check clay without sounding patronizing and had chemistry with him and actual nice, romantic history. she could have been his second cop and they could have reconnected and become a couple and... we could’ve had it all, rolling in the deeeppp. 

it’s like with ani, the show wanted to kill two birds with one stone but they missed them both and i think the backlash on her character says it all. i’d just like to remind everyone to give the actress who plays ani respect and courtesy because it’s not her fault. 

- was it just me, or does it seem like the tape club has learned nothing from what they went through? they’re still keeping secrets and trying to hide shit and keep it all inside and i’m like..... but.... this behavior is what got ya’ll fucked up in the first place? and i totally understand it’s about protection and whatever but.... it also feels like an excuse to not be held accountable for wrong doing. like, alex killed bryce. although he had all the reasons to do it and i’m glad he’s dead, he killed someone fam. that’s not okay. and his dad is wrapped up and it’s just... i just... i dont know. then, there was the whole “let’s not tell on tyler so he doesn’t go to jail” thing and i have mixed feelings about that. i think they should’ve turned him in and got clay’s mom to rep him for rehabilitation and therapy instead of a jail sentence. they’re hiding the guns and trying to trust tyler and luckily that worked, but how long? what if someone fucks with him again and it’s too much for them to help him with? 

- speaking of help, clay needs it. oh my god, does that boy need it. they were so focused on getting tyler professional help but, clay’s out here putting guns to his head and having night terrors. he needs therapy more than anyone. honestly, what i would have liked to see, wayyy back in s2, is as soon as justin saw that, he wouldve went to clay’s parents and got him back on his meds and seeing a counselor. he’s been through so much trauma and guilt and he’s tired of his own fucking hero complex. it’s enough man. 

- they tried to have their cake and eat it too when it came to clay stopping tyler from shooting up the school. they tried to be like, clay shouldn’t have done that but oh, he was so brave and what a great guy he is for doing that. no, that doesn’t work. clay should not have confronted tyler in that situation. period.

- zach was disappointing because i agreed wholeheartedly when he said that they should have called the cops but... he didn’t. he was blaming them for letting tyler go free but he was too. damn, zach.

- it’s like they give clay a new lackey every season and.... ok, i guess.

- i also thought it was kind of weird that after everything they’ve been through, they still walk on eggshells with each other? like i guess because now we’re dealing with murder but... i would think they would trust and care for each other a lot more than to accuse each other and spy and interrogate and not just simply ask... like... this season made me not understand the tape club’s relationship. like are they friends? allies? allies trying to be friends? friends out of necessity? do they know? 

- bryce does not deserve to be humanized. that’s all.

- monty does not deserve to be humanized. that’s all. also, it’s so disappointingly predictable that he’s closeted. 

- the new characters (ani, caleb, chloe, winston, cyrus ) i still don’t care about. plot devices, all.

i may edit and retract some things, should i decide to watch all the way but i’m tired.